How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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