i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize