Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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