do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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