ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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