um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
