Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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