I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
