I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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