There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
