Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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