The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
