Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
