I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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