I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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