But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
