There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My feet surprised me
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
