So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
