drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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