I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
