Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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