you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
