Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
