if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
