Do you still have your period?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
