The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
