if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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