Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
