i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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