I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
