well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My pussy is not your playground.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
