Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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