we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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