her vagine was all disorganized.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
