he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need a beard to bite.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
