it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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