I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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