He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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