I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
