After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Someone came in the potted fern
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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