Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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