Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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