You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
