WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
