remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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