i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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