I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
