# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
