he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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