I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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