So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
