Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize