i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
