You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
