Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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