honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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