Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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