I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
