Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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