I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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