Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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