Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
