You can't motorboat a personality
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
