I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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