I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
