Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i love accidental penises.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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