i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
