so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
id be glad to
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
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