just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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