Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
