I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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