we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
