Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
